>let’s review the two things i love most about the royals:
1. john buck.
now that we’re all on the same page, i’ll begin my tale which i have appropriately titled “the best royals game ever.”
it was “go the the royals game if you’re a hillcrest highschooler” night at “the K”. after collecting money from every student and paying for parking we went to purchase fifty-eight $7 tickets. amazing moment number 1: we went to the ticket window and our total was $406. we counted the cash we’d collected…$408. so we gave Kathy a $2 tip for smiling and handing us the large wad of tickets. they look more like chuck e. cheese tickets in bulk like that.
we got to our seats (secion 323 rows K-N) and were delighted to see that the royals were already up 2-0 in the second inning. i hadn’t been sitting in my seat for more than 10 minutes and i suddenly received a multitude of text messages. you see, i had chosen to wear my relish hat to the game. it is essentially a giant hot dog with green condimentation* along the top. amazing moment number 2: apparently i had been on FSN KC and former royals’ pitcher Paul Splittorff said something to the effect of, “you can always tell when it’s college night at the K cause people show up with hotdogs on their head.”
the game progressed quickly to the bottom of the 4th inning when amazing moment number three happened: mr. incredible himself dropped a homer over jermaine dye’s head in right center to make the game 6-2. john buck goes yard for the second time in two starts. and the crowd goes wild.
this game was already thrilling. at this point i was fully confident that nothing could go wrong. anything and everything was going to go my way tonight. so when the Heinz Hot Dog Derby began – i was extremely confident that Relish would pull it out for me. amazing moment number 4: in come-from-behind fashion, Relish takes win number 17 on the year, and is currently dominating the standings where ketchup and mustard have 13 and 12 wins respectively. they quickly went straight to me celebrating in section 323 after the race. i pointed at the condimentation on my hat to notify the masses of my loyalty. and the $5 i had riding on relish quickly turned into $15. pleasure doing business with you gents.
the game slowly went south, however, my morale was as high as ever. the chicago white sox clawed back into it, and actually took the lead on a balk. as we entered the 9th inning, we were down 1 run, but all eyes went to the Mass-o-tron** to watch the royals’ highlights from the night. amazing moment number 5: clip 3. immediately proceeding the plethora of royals hits and put outs to come…there i was. I WAS IN THE HIGHLIGHT REEL. i was laughing and talking with the individuals around me in my Relish hat and white shades. i couldn’t believe it. i was one of the game’s highlights. what an honor.
anyway. that’s a quick synopsis of the most fun i’ve ever had at the K. hopefully i can add pictures to this post soon. i’m counting on others for that though.
oh. but the royals ended up losing. details.
* – condimentation: the act or process of adding an item to an entree in order to enhance it’s original flavor. ex: ketchup, mustard, Relish.
** – i named the new video board tonight. the old one was the Jumbo-tron. this one is clearly more majestic and larger than that one. i like Mass-o-tron.