okay. so i first started writing about the VMAs in my facebook status, but then i started getting carried away and started writing paragraphs in the tiny little “What’s on your mind?” box and decided i ought to just write it on my blog.
there are a few things that need to be addressed in regards to the VMAs. ready break:
number 1: kanye west is a jack hole. i mean, we were all thinking it ‘ye – taylor swift is a no-talent clown who has somehow made it big in a questionable genre (in the VMAs eyes…also my eyes) – but you didn’t have to go and throw her under the bus in front of the entire nation. she’s 19 bro. just cause she makes millions of dollars she may or may not deserve doesn’t mean you have to destroy her self esteem for years to come. do i agree that beyonce’s video was better (and that this dude‘s was even better), but that’s low. even for you.
number 2: empire state of mind is the best track jay-z has released since the black album. kingdom come and american gangster…not hov’s greatest work. not that they weren’t dece – they were – but blueprint 3 is the first album since 2003 that i’ve really been stunned by. more about BP3 in another post probably – for now, it is suffice to say that he and alicia keys’* performance in the VMAs tonight was absolutely bonkers. i literally jumped out of my bed and started pumping my fist before jay even uttered a syllable. i had a lump in my throat the entire performance. good grief.
* – again…possessive names ending in “S”…possessive of “keys”? keys’s? keys’? keyses? this language is so stupid.
number 3: beyonce is a robot. when i consider each of the following – her voice, her body, and her dance moves – this is the only solution i can ever arrive at. no real person should be capable of being…that. she is powerful and, like her husband, absolutely killed it when she performed “all the single ladies (put a ring on it)“. i mean seriously. she has to be a robot. i challenge you to derive a better conclusion. until i hear one i will continue to believe that jay-z is married to a machine.
number 4: the grammy for best hip hop album of 2035 goes to: shawn carter, JR!!! i’m telling you, if beyonce is indeed a human being and is capable of reproduction, and she and jay-z have a couple kiddos – you better believe that my offspring will be obsessed with anything and everything they do. you wait and see. those kids are destined for greatness. there is nothing they could do to screw it up.
number 5: lady gaga is a freak. also her performance was lip synced for sure. sounded pretty tight though. i have a history of liking freaks as long as they put out good music. the verdict is still out on LG.
number 6: the michael jackson tribute was perfect. oh my goodness. the most synced and beautifully immitated dance routine i’ve ever witnessed. music videos are impressive – MJ’s especially – but they’re still videos. you can take 5- 10- 20 takes before you get the perfect choreograph sequence down, but to watch the sequence perfectly matched live on stage?! brilliant. absolutely brilliant. and when janet -ahem- busts out of the background! i literally gasped and clapped. i don’t think a better tribute could’ve been done…maybe if they played more quincy jones tracks. but that’s just me getting greedy.
okay. i think that pretty much covers all my immediate thoughts. just had to get it all out of my system before i went to sleep. otherwise my heart would be racing and i’d toss and turn all night. but now i can go to bed in peace. except that ‘all the single ladies’ is rolling through my head. worth it.
best VMAs i can remember: kanye made a fool of himself, MJ was honored, and the shawn carter family have totally got some chops. definitely some chops indeed.