yeti found in siberia.

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note: the picture above is unrelated to the news regarding the yeti. this was taken in 1994 by some fishermen in Nepal. it is still uncertain whether the individual in the photo was one of the fishermen or not.

thirty minutes ago i got an email from my friend john with the following subject line:

Yeti.

could there possibly be a better email subject in existence? there is literally nothing coming to mind that would beat the excitement of reading an email with that subject. i suppose “Sasquatch” could maybe compete, but to me, the Yeti is much more interesting due to its supposed climate and extremely reclusive nature. also the Yeti is foreign – Asian, in fact – which adds to its curiousity.

i opened the email and found a link to an article all about how a group of russian researchers have found “indisputable proof” that a yeti has been discovered in siberia. the research team can honestly say, with 95% confidence, that there is a Yeti living in northern Russia somewhere. let’s review their evidence and draw our own conclusions…

the evidence is rather exhaustive – strands of yeti hair in a cave, complete with footprints nearby and a bed-like sleeping structure. not only that, but they found dozens of signals that the yeti uses to mark his territory. the report claims that the yeti is a muscular creature with “grayish or reddish-brown hair” and slightly larger than a human male – “around 6-7 ft tall and between 200-400 lbs”.

cave + hair + prints + bed + territory markers = muscular gray/red/brown haired slightly over-sized humanoid. clearly this is indisputable. how could anyone argue against it?

i suppose one might say “6-7 feet is a large range…so is 200-400 lbs.” or maybe they could say, “they have a tuft of hair, but they think he could be three different colors – red, brown or gray?” or even, “didn’t they think to set up a video camera or something in the cave?” i guess one could ask, “couldn’t it be a bear? or a wolf or something? doesn’t that fit the exact discription?” or how about, “what did they gather that makes the yeti muscular? clearly there must be some females on that research team just hoping he’s a muscular heartthrob.”

one might have asked those things, but obviously they would be misguided possibilities. as stated before, this is indisputable, so it would be unwise to suggest that it could be disputed. this is obviously factual. can’t wait for it to be captured and put on display in a museum or a zoo somewhere. i think i’ll name him Abe (short for abominable).

-apc.

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